Four Thousand Weeks: Time Management for Mortals – Oliver Burkeman

Four Thousand Weeks: Time Management for Mortals – Oliver Burkeman
Date read: 9/18/21. Recommendation: 9/10.

I started this book while standing in a two-hour-long security line at Denver International Airport and there was perhaps no better book I could have chosen at that moment. Burkeman is a tremendous writer. He reaches surprising depth in such a short amount of time by distilling his ideas into their simplest form. The Antidote is the same way and was one of my favorite books for years. In this book, he addresses the anxiety that’s built from our own busyness and the shortness of life. While we obsess over an imaginary future state where we’ve escaped all problems and mastered our time, we’re actually missing out on life’s most meaningful moments. Burkeman rejects productivity gurus and time management hacks as making matters worse by further fueling our anxiety. Instead, he suggests letting go of the futile attempts to master our time. This starts with reconciling what’s within our control, taking ownership of those things, improving our decision-making, and embracing the art of patience. It’s a refreshing take on how to make the most of our time here.

See my notes below or Amazon for details and reviews.

My Notes:

The Efficiency Trap:
The more efficient you get, the more you become a “limitless reservoir for other people’s expectations.” Jim Benson

To avoid the efficiency trap, you need an anti-skill—a willingness to avoid such urges—“to learn to stay with the anxiety of feeling overwhelmed, of not being on top of everything, without automatically responding by trying to fit more in.” OB

“Convenience culture seduces us into imagining that we might find room for everything important by eliminating only life’s tedious tasks. But it’s a lie. You have to choose a few things, sacrifice everything else, and deal with the inevitable sense of loss that results.” OB

“But the undodgeable reality of a finite human life is that you are going to have to choose.” OB

Ownership:
“Rather than taking ownership of our lives, we seek out distractions, or lose ourselves in busyness and the daily grind, so as to try to forget our real predicament. Or we try to avoid the intimidating responsibility of having to decide what to do with our finite time by telling ourselves that we don’t get to choose at all.” OB

Expectations vs. reality:
“When you’re trying to Master Your Time, few things are more infuriating than a task or delay that’s foisted upon you against your will, with no regard for the schedule you’ve painstakingly drawn up in your overpriced notebook. But when you turn your attention instead to the fact that you’re in a position to have an irritating experience in the first place, matters are liable to look very different indeed.” OB

“You don’t get to dictate the course of events. And the paradoxical reward for accepting reality’s constraints is that they no longer feel so constraining.” OB

“Really, no matter how far ahead you plan, you never get to relax in the certainty that everything’s going to go the way you’d like. Instead, the frontier of your uncertainty just gets pushed further and further toward the horizon.” OB

“A most surprisingly effective antidote to anxiety can be to simply realize that this demand for reassurance from the future is one that will definitely never be satisfied—no matter how much you plan or fret, or how much extra time you leave to get to the airport. You can’t know that things will turn out all right. The struggle for certainty is an intrinsically hopeless one.” OB

“Your days aren’t progressing toward a future state of perfectly invulnerable happiness, and that to approach them with such an assumption is systematically to drain our four thousand weeks of their value.” OB

Procrastination:
Success isn’t preventing everything from falling through the cracks, it’s knowing what to let fall through. “The real measure of any time management technique is whether or not it helps you neglect the right things.” OB

“The good procrastinator accepts the fact that she can’t get everything done, then decides as wisely as possible what tasks to focus on and what to neglect. By contrast, the bad procrastinator finds himself paralyzed precisely because he can’t bear the thought of confronting his limitations. For him, procrastination is a strategy of emotional avoidance—a way of trying not to feel the psychological distress that comes with acknowledging that he’s a finite human being.” OB

“Since every real-world choice about how to live entails the loss of countless alternative ways of living, there’s no reason to procrastinate, or to resist making commitments, in the anxious hope that you might somehow be able to avoid those losses. Loss is a given. That ship has sailed—and what a relief.” OB

When faced with a significant decision in life, ask “Does this choice diminish me, or enlarge me?” Comfortable often equals diminishing. Uncomfortable often equals growth.

Awareness:
“We cannot get anything out of life. There is no outside where we could take this thing to. There is no little pocket, situated outside of life, to which we could steal life’s provisions and squirrel them away. The life of this moment has no outside.” Jay Jennifer Matthews

Impatience:
People complain that they no longer have “time to read” but the reality is not that they don’t have time, but when they find time they’re too impatient to give themselves over to the task.

“In a world geared for hurry, the capacity to resist the urge to hurry—to allow things to take the time they take—is a way to gain purchase on the world, to do the work that counts, and to derive satisfaction from the doing itself, instead of deferring all your fulfillment to the future.” OB

Three principles of patience:

1. Develop a taste for having problems.

   “Yet the state of having no problems is obviously never going to arrive. And more to the point, you wouldn’t want it to, because a life devoid of all problems would contain nothing worth doing and would therefore be meaningless.” OB

   “I was peeling a red apple from the garden when I suddenly understood that life would only ever give me a series of wonderfully insoluble problems. With that though an ocean of profound peace entered my heart.” Christian Bobin

2. Embrace radical incrementalism
.
   Create small habits that you can sustain even on your worst days. Persistence is what matters, start small, show up every day.

3. Originality lies on the far side of unoriginality.
   
Arno Minkkinen, Finnish American photographer, power of patience parable: At Helsinki’s main bus station, there are two dozen platforms with several different bus lines. You pick a route, but it follows most of the other buses on its first few stops through the city. In your career, after a couple of years of following that route, you’re dismayed your work isn’t as original as you hoped so you go back to the bus station and pick a different route. Instead, Minkkinen says the solution is to “Stay on the fucking bus.” Because after the buses get through the first leg of their journey, their routes begin to diverge, plunging off to unique destinations as they head through the suburbs to the countryside. That’s where the original, distinct work begins. “But it begins at all for those who can muster the patience to immerse themselves in the earlier stage—the trial-and-error phase of copying others, learning new skills, and accumulating experience.” OB

Radical Candor – Kim Scott

Radical Candor – Kim Scott
Recommendation: 8/10. Date read: 8/12/21.

I’m late to the game when it comes to this book. Radical Candor has long been cemented in the business world and catches quite a bit of flack as a buzzword. But criticism, as Nassim Taleb suggests, is a far better indicator that a book is worth reading than silence. Scott’s core concept is that radical candor is the combination of caring personally and challenging directly. The best managers align themselves to this while avoiding ruinous empathy, manipulative insincerity, and obnoxious aggression. This is one of the best all-around resources for managers that I’ve read with insightful sections on responsibilities, how to run meetings, and growth management.

See my notes below or Amazon for details and reviews.

My Notes:

Empathy and the golden mean:
“Healthy emotional empathy makes for a more caring world. It can nurture social connection, concern, and insight. But unregulated emotional empathy can be the source of distress and burnout; it can also lead to withdrawal and moral apathy.” John Halifax

Responsibilities as a manager:
1) Create a culture of guidance (praise and criticism) that will keep everyone moving in the right direction.

2) Understand what motivates each person on your team well enough to avoid burnout or boredom and keep the team cohesive.

3) Drive results collaboratively.

Radical candor:
Radical candor = care personally + challenge directly

“Being responsible sometimes means pissing people off. You have to accept that sometimes people on your team will be mad at you.” KS

Growth management:
Steep growth trajectory: change agent, ambitious at work, want new opportunities, superstar

Gradual growth trajectory: force for stability, ambitious outside of work, happy in current role, rock star

You need both types on your team. Rockstars are better for roles that require steadiness and accumulated knowledge. Superstar might not have the focus or patience for the same type of project. Best way to keep superstars happy is challenge them and make sure they’re constantly learning. People often shift between growth trajectories at different phases of their life/careers.

“To be successful at growth management, you need to find out what motivates each person on your team. You also need to learn what each person’s longe term ambitions are, and understand how their current circumstances fit into motivations and their life goals.” KS

Don’t over-promote as the only way to reward your best people: “In World War II, the U.S. Air Force took their very best pilots from the front lines and sent them to train new pilots. Over time this strategy dramatically improved the quality and effectiveness of the U.S. Air Force. The Germans lost their air superiority because they flew all their aces until they were shot down; none of them trained new recruits. By 1944 new German pilots had clocked only about half of the three hundred hours an Allied pilot would have flown in training.” KS

Refinement:
“It is only by selection, by elimination, and by emphasis that we get at the real meaning of things.” Georgia O’Keeffe

“The essence of making an idea clear requires a deep understanding not only of the idea but also of the person to whom one is explaining the idea.” KS

You are the exception to the “criticize in private” rule of thumb:
Determine who on your team is comfortable criticizing you and ask them to do it in front of others at staff or all hands meetings. Will demonstrate you want the feedback. “The bigger the team, the more leverage you get out of reacting well to criticism in public.” KS

“Remind yourself going in that no matter how unfair the criticism, your first job is to listen with the intent to understand, not to defend yourself.” KS

Hiring:
“If you’re not dying to hire somebody, don’t make an offer. And, even if you are dying to hire somebody, allow yourself to be overruled by the other interviewers who feel strongly the person should not be hired. In general, a bias towards no is useful when hiring.” KS

Staff meetings:
-Learn: review key metrics (20 minutes)
-Listen: put updates in a shared document (15 minutes)
-Clarify: identify key decisions and debates (30 minutes)

Keep Going – Austin Kleon

Keep Going – by Austin Kleon
Date read: 12/3/19. Recommendation: 7/10.

If you haven’t read any of his work before, Kleon’s stuff is great. It’s bite-sized inspiration for creativity and perseverance. You can get through the book in less than an hour. I dig into his books after a lull when I need to reengage myself with a creative jolt. The ideas that resonated strongest with me in this book were the importance of disconnecting, lowering the stakes, and creative reflection. To observe, you have to immerse yourself in the world. But being creative is also about retreating and tuning out the noise so you’re able to figure out what you’re trying to say. Kleon also suggests we think about our art as making gifts for people (à la John Greene), in the sense that the goal is to reach and connect with a single person. That’s what will keep you going.

See my notes below or Amazon for details and reviews.

My Notes:

Disconnect for Creativity:
“You must retreat from the world long enough to think, practice your art, and bring forth something worth sharing with others.” AK

“It’s hard to find anything to say about life without immersing yourself in the world, but it’s also just about impossible to figure out what it might be, or how to best say it, without getting the hell out of it again.” Tim Kreider

“The greatest need of our time is to clean out the enormous mass of mental and emotional rubbish that clutters our minds and makes of all political and social life a mass illness. Without this housecleaning, we cannot begin to see. Unless we see, we cannot think.” Thomas Merton

“Keep your eye on your inner world and keep away from ads and idiots and movie stars.” Dorothea Tanning

“The phone gives us a lot but it takes away three key elements of discovery: loneliness, uncertainty, and boredom. Those have always been where creative ideas come from.” Lynda Barry

Lower the Stakes:
“The great artists are able to retain this sense of playfulness throughout their careers. Art and the artists both suffer most when the artist gets too heavy, too focused on results.” AK

This is similar to Derek Sivers idea of making your art your main relaxing activity. 

Make gifts for people: “Don’t make stuff because you want to make money—it will never make you enough money. And don’t make stuff because you want to get famous—because you will never feel famous enough. Make gifts for people—and work hard on making those gifts in the hope that people will notice and like the gifts.” John Greene

Focus your attention on reaching and connecting with one person. This is the ultimate goal.

Do things that make you and the people around you come alive. If your art is making you and those around you miserable, stop. “The world doesn’t necessarily need more great artists. It needs more decent human beings.” AK

Reflection:
If you’re trying to determine what you’ve been trying to say, read through your old journals or work. Distill the themes. This will give you insight into what you’re trying to say and what you should do next. 

Creativity has seasons. You’re not a robot. Allow yourself to live and embrace the influences of each season.

Mindset – Carol Dweck

Mindset – by Carol Dweck
Date read: 11/25/19. Recommendation: 8/10.

This is a foundational book that I wish I would have read in college or at the start of my career. Dweck’s lessons in cultivating a growth mindset can be heard in passing on dozens of podcasts and seen referenced in countless other books. But this is the source. As she discusses a fixed vs. growth mindset, the biggest difference is revealed not when things are going well but when coping with failure. In a fixed mindset, failure is any type of setback. In a growth mindset, failure is not growing. A growth mindset is about building resilience and belief in change. Your skills and abilities can be developed. This allows you to embrace and enjoy the process that is learning, rather than seeking immediate gratification or giving up. The earlier you’re able to read this, the better it will help shift your outlook. But there’s something for those at every walk of life—Dweck discusses how these concepts apply in parenting, business, school, and relationships.

See my notes below or Amazon for details and reviews.

My Notes:

Growth Mindset:
“The passion for stretching yourself and sticking to it, even (or especially) when it’s not going well, is the hallmark of a growth mindset. This is the mindset that allows people to thrive during some of the most challenging times in their lives.” CD

Growth mindset allows you to convert life’s setbacks into future successes.

By cultivating a growth mindset you can begin building perseverance and resilience.

“The growth mindset is based on the belief in change.” CD

Fixed vs. Growth Mindsets:
The biggest difference is revealed not when things are going well but when coping with failure. Fixed mindset immediately goes into a victim mindset, obsessing over externals. Growth mindset focuses on a sense of ownership and identifying variables within your control. 

“Becoming is better than being. The fixed mindset does not allow people the luxury of becoming. They have to already be.” CD

What is Failure?
Fixed mindset: failure = setbacks.
Growth mindset: failure = not growing. 

“I don’t divide the world into the weak and the strong, or the successes and the failures…I divide the world into the learners and nonlearners.” Benjamin Barber

With a growth mindset, failure can still be painful. But it doesn’t define you. It’s an opportunity to learn and grow. 

Validation:
In a growth mindset, the rewarding part is the process—the learning and growth as an individual. External recognition (awards, money, etc.) is always nice, but it’s not sought as a validation of self worth. Those with a true growth mindset possess a Stoic indifference to the winds of fortune. 

Students:
Fixed mindset while studying is all about memorization. Growth mindset is about looking for themes and underlying principles. 

Judgment:
A fixed mindset often reveals itself through a judged-and-be-judged framework. A growth mindset is the shift to a learn-and-help-learn framework. The commitment in the latter is to growth which takes time, effort, and mutual support.