Be Water, My Friend – Shannon Lee

Be Water, My Friend by Shannon Lee
Date read: 11/9/23. Recommendation: 9/10.

Be Water, My Friend captures a loyal Bruce Lee fan base, but Shannon Lee’s enthusiasm for her father’s philosophy and her personal commentary delivers a book that holds its own. The core tenet of the book is that fluidity leads to growth and evolution. Martial arts reflect personal growth in this way and there’s no better teacher than Bruce Lee. The emphasis on “life is motion, find a way to move with it” builds upon ideas in the Tao of Jeet Kune Do, but in an accessible way for an audience who might be more interested in philosophy than martial arts. Beautiful sections on awareness, enthusiasm, experimentation, purpose, and movement. One of my favorite books that I’ve read all year.

Check out my notes below or Amazon for details and reviews.

My Notes:

Bruce Lee’s background:
Martial arts was his chosen love, started practicing wing chun gung fu in Hong Kong at 13 years old, and he practiced every day until his death at 32. 

His sifu (teacher) was Yip Man, who was trying to teach a fiery young Bruce Lee the importance of gentleness, fluidity, and pliability, not just strength and cunning. 

“Never assert yourself against nature. Never be in frontal opposition to any problem, but control it by swinging with it.” Yip Man

Movement:
Bruce Lee lived every aspect of his life according to the philosophy of movement. He was interested in concepts and tools that applied to real-life situations. “He didn’t deal in points earned or light touches landed, as was the style of the day in high-level competitions. He called that kind of point-oriented, competitive fighting, with so many rules on how to score without causing injury, ‘dryland swimming.’” SL

“Like flowing water, life is perpetual movement.” Bruce Lee

“No man ever steps in the same river twice, for it’s not the same river and he’s not the same man.” Heraclitus

Awareness:
“For many of us, life happens to us. We get trapped in unconscious patterns of living and forget that there are, in fact, many choices and many ways to be fully involved in the creation of our lives. To say it another way, we want to be fully alive versus merely subsisting. And to do that, we have to be paying attention.” SL

Movement is life: “Pliability is life; rigidity is death, whether we are speaking of the body, the mind, or the spirit. Be pliable.” Bruce Lee

“Don’t put all your focus and energy into your career so that one day you will be content and happy. Work on being content and happy and bring that into your career and the rest of your life.” SL

Purpose:
What you do and who you are is not as important as how you express your “what” and your “who” in everything you do. SL

Self-actualization: “It is to know oneself and express the uniqueness of oneself for the world with such skill and with such ease that, like water, it will flow naturally from you.” SL

“And you don’t get to express your best self out in the world without a healthy dose of personal inventory and integrity. It takes work to make your insides match your outsides.” SL

“But only you will really ever know whether your life was good for you.” SL

“All goals apart from the means are an illusion. There will never be means to ends, only means.” Bruce Lee

“Life is a process, not a goal; a means but not an end; a constant movement rather than an established pattern.” Bruce Lee

Letter at age 21: “I feel I have this great creative and spiritual force within me that is greater than faith, greater than ambition, greater than confidence, greater than determination, greater than vision. It is all of these combined. My brain becomes magnetized with this dominating force, which I hold in my hand.” Bruce Lee

Martial arts:
“Proficiency in martial arts is the practice of keeping centered and skillfully responsive under the direst of circumstances: the threat of physical harm.” SL

Yin and yang:
Not opposites, but complements. They work together to form a whole. “And so it is with water. Water is gentle yet powerful. Soft, yet strong. Flowing, yet deep. And so it is with life.” SL

Experimentation:
(Before JKD) By 1964, Bruce Lee had established a second martial arts school in Oakland, CA, called the Jun Fan Gung Fu Institute (another was in Seattle) where he taught a slightly modified form of wing chun, the martial art he had learned in Hong Kong as a teenager. “I say ‘slightly modified’ because my father had started to contemplate and experiment with shifts in technique—these were very small deviations from the traditional norm, such as a slight angling of the foot here, more movement at the waist there, quicker initiation of movement in response to an opponent.” SL

But he was still just 24 years old at the time and a bit of a loudmouth. “He was also bucking tradition in ways that annoyed the Chinese kung fu old guard in San Francisco’s Chinatown community. My father would give demonstrations at the Sun Sing Theater in Chinatown, and he would talk loudly and brashly about how many of the Chinese Martial arts were bogged down by unnecessary, wasted motions, using the term ‘classical mess’ repeatedly to disparage other traditional kung fu styles. He would then challenge people to come up onstage and see if they could best his technique.” SL

“As if that weren’t enough to ruffle feathers, he also opened his schools to people of all races and backgrounds. In the eyes of the kung fu establishment, traditions were meant to be adhered to, and while the occasional non-Chinese might find their way into Chinese kung fu classes from time to time, there was certainly not an open-door policy to the general public. Bruce was disrespectful ‘ruining’ the old ways, and for the traditionalists in Chinatown, this would not stand.” SL

“In late 1964, the San Francisco Chinatown community issues a challenge against my father. They’d had enough of this bold young man and his rebellious ways, and they were going to do what they could to silence him. They proposed a challenge match to be fought at my father’s school in Oakland. If their champion won, Bruce Lee would cease teaching, and if my father won, he could continue on unimpeded.” Page 57 for full story. 

Bruce Lee won the fight, which lasted three minutes, after his opponent took off running after the exchange of initial blows. Lee had to grab hold and attack him from behind while running, something traditional martial arts hadn’t prepared him for. Despite the victory, he was disheartened that traditional wing chun hadn’t prepared him for this “anything goes” scenario. The traditional practices were too specialized, too rigid. This was the great revelation of his martial arts career and led to the seeds of jeet kune do. 

Jeet kune do (JKD):
Jeet kune do = the way of the intercepting fist.

“When my father created his martial art of jeet kune do (JKD), he took great care to establish deep philosophical principles to accompany it. These philosophies were meant to engage the mind and the spirit as well as the body and were a key component to guarding against rote drilling and perfunctory training. JKD emphasizes formless and non-telegraphic movement—movement that happens so instantaneously and in perfect response to the actual situation that the opponent cannot see what’s coming. The philosophy attached to JKD is meant to root the practitioner in a fluid and present state to keep him or her flexible and capable of initiating and responding to change. And one can only respond to change if one has enough mobility in approach to do so.” SL

Starting ideating on JKD in 1965, formally named it in 1967. 

One of the first teachings of JKD is the on-guard position. It was the starting stance from which all movement ignites. It was based on his study and understanding of the laws of physics and biomechanics, as well as other combative arts—wing chun, boxing, fencing. Bruce Lee saw a certain amount of tension as a necessary component of being on guard. You’re coiled, ready to strike. Not too rigid, not too relaxed. 

Purposefully unbalancing yourself: “To be balanced is to be more or less at rest. Action, then, is the art or method of unbalancing toward keeping oneself moving forward, learning and growing.” Bruce Lee

When Bruce Lee started JKD, it was an extremely unorthodox approach for fighting arts of the time. He advocated for forgetting what you think you already know, emptying your mind, and making room to let knew information in. This doesn’t mean forgetting. It means opening your mind and your approach to each experience with a willingness to consider something new. 

“Never be for or against. The struggle between ‘for’ and ‘against’ is the mind’s worst disease. Do not like or dislike, an all will then be clear.” Bruce Lee

When developing JKD, looked to standard martial arts for inspiration and information, but also looked beyond at Western boxing, fencing, biomechanics, and philosophy. 

“He admired the simplicity of boxing, incorporating its ideas into his footwork and his upper-body tools (jab, cross, hook, bob, weave, etc.). And from fencing, he began by looking at the footwork, range, and timing of the stop hit and the riposte, both techniques that meet attacks and defenses with preemptive moves. From biomechanics, he studied movement as a whole, seeking to understand the physical laws of motion while understanding biological efficiencies and strengths…He was open to all inspiration and all possibilities.” SL

Core tenants of JKD: “Research your own experience. Reject what is useless. Accept what is useful. And add what is essentially your own.” Bruce Lee

Art of relaxed concentration: “The warrior’s instinct was not to be confused with animal instinct. Like a visceral reaction, it came from a combination of wisdom and discipline. It was an ultimate reasoning that went beyond reason, the ability to make the right move in a split second without going through the process of thinking.” Eiji Yoshikawa

Jeet kune do requires us to be the quintessential version of ourselves. 

Reality is your friend:
Despite feeling troubled after the Oakland fight, he could have pushed that off to the side without examining it. But he did examine and turn it over. “But because he took heed and gave serious attention to the entirety of his experience, in particular the troubling bits, he created a new art form and philosophy and went on to change the landscape of martial arts globally.” SL

Let the problem lead you: “We shall find truth when we examine the problem. The problem is never apart from the answer; the problem is the answer.” Bruce Lee

Pure seeing versus sticky mind:
Pure seeing = not projecting your own preferences and opinions during an experience so you can see it for what it is. Similar to Scout Mindset by Julia Galef.

Sticky mind = moment in an encounter when you get stuck trying to enforce some strategy you have that’s separate from what’s actually happening in the present moment. In martial arts this often reveals itself when fighters get caught up in what they want the fight to be, rather than what the fight actually is as its unfolding. And this spells disaster, as you’re unable to demonstrate the flow, presence, maturity, or ability to respond appropriately. Your mind is stuck. Your cup is too full. Bruce lee advocates for “emptying your cup.”

Workouts:
March 27, 1968, Bruce Lee did 500 punches with his right hand, 250 punches with his left, series of ab exercises, 7 sets of leg raises, sit-ups, sidebends. Did another 500 punches with his right hand, 250 with his left. Cycled two miles, followed by one more set of 500 punches with his right hand. 

Enthusiasm is king:
“When we are enthusiastic, we are inspired by life. We are in joy; we are eager.” SL

Tao of Jeet Kune Do – Bruce Lee

Tao of Jeet Kune Do by Bruce Lee
Date read: 8/8/23. Recommendation: 8/10.

Compilation of Bruce Lee’s notes and essays published after his death. But don’t dismiss this as a martial arts handbook. It’s much more than that, showcasing Lee’s personal philosophy of formlessness, fluidity, and adaptability. Lee challenges the rigidity of traditional martial arts, emphasizing creativity, practicality, and emptying your mind so you can be present for the fight in front of you.

Check out my notes below or Amazon for details and reviews.

My Notes:

Beginnings:
Classical wing chun style that Bruce Lee began studying was developed 400 years before he was born. 

Jeet Kune Do (JKD):
The Tao of Jeet Kune Do is not complete, Bruce Lee’s art was ever-changing.

To understand JKD, you must throw out all ideals, patterns, and styles. Throw away even the concepts of what is or isn’t JKD. 

Formlessness: “Jeet Kune Do favors formlessness so that it can assume all forms and since Jeet Kune Do has no style, it can fit in with all styles. As a result, Jeet Kune Do utilizes all ways and is bound by none and, likewise, uses any techniques or means which serve its end.” Bruce Lee

“The art of Jeet Kune Do is simply to simplify.” Bruce Lee

“Agreeing to certain patterns of movement to secure the participants within the governed rules might be good for sports like boxing or basketball, but the success of Jeet Kune Do lies in its freedom, both to use technique and dispense with it.” Bruce Lee

“A Jeet Kune Do man faces reality and not crystallization of form. The tool is a tool of formless form.” Bruce Lee

Self-knowledge is the basis of JKD: “Jeet Kune Do is the art not founded on techniques or doctrines. It is just as you are.” Bruce Lee

“In jeet kune do, the goal is self-knowledge through breaking free of unexamined tradition and being fully involved in the reality of the moment with no attachment to prescribed routines.” Linda Lee Caldwell

“With the philosophical underpinnings of fluidity and adaptability as its central theme, Lee was adamant that he did not invent a new style when it came to jeet kune do. Instead, his overall approach to martial arts was to unify martial artists by focusing on fighting ‘as is,’ thereby eliminating the need for styles, tradition, and formality that rests on set patterns. And because of his objection to stringently held traditions, jeet kune do can use all ways yet be bound by none. Philosophically, Lee eliminated the duality of ‘for or against.’” Tommy Gong 

Rigidness of martial arts styles: 
“In the long history of martial arts, the instinct to follow and imitate seems to be inherent in most martial artists, instructors and students alike. This is partly due to the human tendency and partly because of the steep traditions behind multiple patterns of styles.” Bruce Lee

“Instead of facing combat in its muchness, then, most systems of martial art accumulate a ‘fancy mess’ that distorts and cramps their practitioners and distracts them from the actual reality of combat which is simple and direct. Instead of going immediately to the heart of things, flowery forms (organized despair) and artificial techniques are ritualistically practiced to simulate actual combat.” Bruce Lee

Real combat is not fixed, it’s alive. There’s freedom in nonconformity of style. 

“When, in a split second, your life is threatened, do you say, “Let me make sure my hand is on my hip, and my style is ‘the style.’ When your life is in danger do you argue about the method you will adhere to while saving yourself?” Bruce Lee

“A so-called martial artist is the result of three thousand years of propaganda and conditioning.” Bruce Lee

“He then becomes a slave to the pattern and takes the pattern to be the real thing.” Bruce Lee

“The second-hand artist blindly following his sensei or sift accepts his pattern. As a result, his action, and, more importantly, his thinking become mechanical. His responses become automatic, according to set patterns, making him narrow and limited.” Bruce Lee

“I hope martial artists are more interested in the root of martial arts and not the different decorative branches, flowers or leaves…when you understand the root, you understand all its blossoms.” Bruce Lee

“Jeet Kune Do favors formlessness so that it can assume all forms and, since it has no style, Jeet Kune Do fits in with all styles. As a result, Jeet Kune Do uses all ways and is bound by none and, likewise, uses any technique or means which serves its end. In this art, efficiency is anything that scores.” Bruce Lee

“It symbolized the oppression that rigid traditions and formal styles had on their student. ‘Organized despair,’ as Lee called it, contributed to the ‘death’ of independent inquiry and stunted the complete maturation of a martial artist. Ultimately, Lee concluded that sales divide martial artists instead of unify them, thereby restricting the growth of the individual.” Tommy gong

Creativity:
“Research your own experience; absorb what is useful, reject what is useless and add what is essentially your own.” Bruce Lee

“Art lives where absolute freedom is, because where it is not, there can be no creativity.” Bruce Lee

Fluidity:
“If nothing within you stays rigid, outward things will disclose themselves. Moving, be like water. Still, be like a mirror. Respond like an echo.” Bruce Lee

“When there is no center and no circumference, then there is truth. When you freely express, you are the total style.” Bruce Lee

“A real street fight is unpredictable and your enemy may be an expert in any fighting style, you must not be surprised in the fight. Therefore, it is important to research and understand every fighting style in order to win.” Bruce Lee

Relaxed concentration:
“Empty your cup so that it may be filled; become devoid to gain totality.” Bruce Lee

“The mind is originally without activity; the way is always without thought.” Bruce Lee

“With all the training thrown to the wind, with a mind perfectly unaware of its own working, with the self vanishing nowhere, anybody knows where, the art of Jeet Kune Do attains its perfection.” Bruce Lee

In JKD focus is on keeping your mind in a state of emptiness. Bruce Lee believed all movements come out of emptiness. Emptiness is where sincerity, genuineness, and straightforwardness are found. Emptiness ensures that freedom of action is never obstructed.

Scout mindset:
“It is the ego that stands rigidly against influences from the outside, and it is this ‘ego rigidity’ that makes it impossible for us to accept everything that confronts us.” Bruce Lee

Simplicity:
“The height of cultivation runs to simplicity. Half-way cultivation runs to ornamentation.” Bruce Lee

Find yourself in the work:
“All goals apart from the means are illusions.” Bruce Lee

Intuition:
“The deluded mind is the mind affectively burdened by intellect. Thus, it cannot move without stopping and reflecting on itself. This obstructs its native fluidity.” Bruce Lee

Compassion:
“It is compassion rather than the principle of justice which can guard us against being unjust to our fellow men.” Bruce Lee

Yes to Life – Viktor Frankl

Yes to Life – by Viktor Frankl
Date read: 2/1/23. Recommendation: 8/10.

Based on a series of lectures Frankl gave after his liberation from Nazi concentration camps. It’s a great companion book to Man’s Search for Meaning. Frankl explores the three ways to find meaning and purpose in life—through action, love, and suffering.

See my notes below or Amazon for details and reviews.

My Notes:

3 ways to find meaning and purpose in life:

1. Action: Doing, creating, working (whether it’s art or a labor of love), something that outlasts us. Bringing something into being. 

2. Love: Experiencing something—appreciating nature or works of art—or loving people. The door to happiness always opens outward. 

3. Suffering: How a person adapts and reacts to unavoidable limits on their life possibilities like facing death or enduring concentration camps. This opens itself to a person when finding value in 1 and 2 are closed to them.

“If I am not for myself, who will be for me? If I am not for others, what am I? And if not now, when?” Rabbi Hillel

Each of us has our own purpose in life, our own places where we find meaning, and serving others only elevates this. 

Materialism is an anti-pattern. Mindlessly consuming and always focusing on more things leads to a meaningless life. 

Love:
“It is not only through our action that we can give life meaning—insofar as we can answer life’s specific questions responsibly—we can fulfill the demands of existence not only as active agents but also as loving human beings: in our loving dedication to the beautiful, the great, the good.” VF

Consider when you attend a concert of an artist you love and they play your favorite song and it sends chills down your spine. That moment is meaningful. And it’s born of a deep appreciation.

Suffering:
“How we deal with difficulties truly shows who we are, and that, too, can enable us to live meaningfully.” VF

“What do athletes do but create difficulties for themselves so that they can grow through overcoming them? Of course, it is not advisable to create difficulties for oneself; in general; suffering as a result of misfortune is only meaningful if this misfortune has come about through fate, and is thus unavoidable and inescapable.” VF

“So, fate is part of our lives and so is suffering; therefore, if life has meaning, suffering also has meaning. Consequently, suffering, as long as it is necessary and unavoidable, also holds the possibility of being meaningful.” VF

“It is not a question of either achievement or endurance—rather, in some cases, endurance itself is the greatest achievement.” VF

Perspective:
“Our perspective on life’s events—what we make of them—matters as much or more than what actually befalls us. ‘Fate’ is what happens to us beyond our control. But we each are responsible for how we relate to those events.” Daniel Goleman

“Life is not something, it is the opportunity for something.” Hebbel

“The individual, and only that individual, determines whether their suffering is meaningful or not.” VF

Adaptability:
“In the course of life, human beings must be prepared to change the direction of this fulfillment of meaning, often abruptly, according to the particular challenges of the hour.” VF

Life is motion: “For we have already pointed out that meaning of life can only be a specific one, specific both in relation to each individual person and in relation to each individual hour: the question that life asks us changes from both person to person and from situation to situation.” VF

Frankl’s manuscript:
“Frankl held these insights on the singular importance of a sense of meaning even before he underwent the horrors of camp life, though his years as a prisoner gave him even deeper conviction. When he was arrested and deported in 1941, he had sewn into the lining of his overcoat the manuscript of a book in which he argued for this view. He had hoped to publish that book one day, though he had to give up the coat—and the unpublished book—on his first day as a prisoner. And his desire to one day publish his views, along with his yearning to see his loved ones again, gave him a personal purpose that helped keep him afloat.” Daniel Goleman

Frankl formulated his initial insights and theory on the human orientation towards meaning in a rough manuscript of his eventual book The Doctor and the Soul. This is the same manuscript he brought with him after his deportation, hoping that he would be able to publish it still. When he reached the concentration camp, he was forced to give up his coat with the manuscript sewn into the lining. 

His experience in the camps further refined his ideas: “It turned out, in fact, that those camp inmates who still recognized or at least hoped for a meaning in life were the most likely to find the strength to continue living, or finally to survive. Last, but not least, that was also true of himself: what kept him alive was only the hope of seeing at least some of his loved ones again and bringing the completed draft of his book to publication.” VF

Four Thousand Weeks: Time Management for Mortals – Oliver Burkeman

Four Thousand Weeks: Time Management for Mortals – Oliver Burkeman
Date read: 9/18/21. Recommendation: 9/10.

I started this book while standing in a two-hour-long security line at Denver International Airport and there was perhaps no better book I could have chosen at that moment. Burkeman is a tremendous writer. He reaches surprising depth in such a short amount of time by distilling his ideas into their simplest form. The Antidote is the same way and was one of my favorite books for years. In this book, he addresses the anxiety that’s built from our own busyness and the shortness of life. While we obsess over an imaginary future state where we’ve escaped all problems and mastered our time, we’re actually missing out on life’s most meaningful moments. Burkeman rejects productivity gurus and time management hacks as making matters worse by further fueling our anxiety. Instead, he suggests letting go of the futile attempts to master our time. This starts with reconciling what’s within our control, taking ownership of those things, improving our decision-making, and embracing the art of patience. It’s a refreshing take on how to make the most of our time here.

See my notes below or Amazon for details and reviews.

My Notes:

The Efficiency Trap:
The more efficient you get, the more you become a “limitless reservoir for other people’s expectations.” Jim Benson

To avoid the efficiency trap, you need an anti-skill—a willingness to avoid such urges—“to learn to stay with the anxiety of feeling overwhelmed, of not being on top of everything, without automatically responding by trying to fit more in.” OB

“Convenience culture seduces us into imagining that we might find room for everything important by eliminating only life’s tedious tasks. But it’s a lie. You have to choose a few things, sacrifice everything else, and deal with the inevitable sense of loss that results.” OB

“But the undodgeable reality of a finite human life is that you are going to have to choose.” OB

Ownership:
“Rather than taking ownership of our lives, we seek out distractions, or lose ourselves in busyness and the daily grind, so as to try to forget our real predicament. Or we try to avoid the intimidating responsibility of having to decide what to do with our finite time by telling ourselves that we don’t get to choose at all.” OB

Expectations vs. reality:
“When you’re trying to Master Your Time, few things are more infuriating than a task or delay that’s foisted upon you against your will, with no regard for the schedule you’ve painstakingly drawn up in your overpriced notebook. But when you turn your attention instead to the fact that you’re in a position to have an irritating experience in the first place, matters are liable to look very different indeed.” OB

“You don’t get to dictate the course of events. And the paradoxical reward for accepting reality’s constraints is that they no longer feel so constraining.” OB

“Really, no matter how far ahead you plan, you never get to relax in the certainty that everything’s going to go the way you’d like. Instead, the frontier of your uncertainty just gets pushed further and further toward the horizon.” OB

“A most surprisingly effective antidote to anxiety can be to simply realize that this demand for reassurance from the future is one that will definitely never be satisfied—no matter how much you plan or fret, or how much extra time you leave to get to the airport. You can’t know that things will turn out all right. The struggle for certainty is an intrinsically hopeless one.” OB

“Your days aren’t progressing toward a future state of perfectly invulnerable happiness, and that to approach them with such an assumption is systematically to drain our four thousand weeks of their value.” OB

Procrastination:
Success isn’t preventing everything from falling through the cracks, it’s knowing what to let fall through. “The real measure of any time management technique is whether or not it helps you neglect the right things.” OB

“The good procrastinator accepts the fact that she can’t get everything done, then decides as wisely as possible what tasks to focus on and what to neglect. By contrast, the bad procrastinator finds himself paralyzed precisely because he can’t bear the thought of confronting his limitations. For him, procrastination is a strategy of emotional avoidance—a way of trying not to feel the psychological distress that comes with acknowledging that he’s a finite human being.” OB

“Since every real-world choice about how to live entails the loss of countless alternative ways of living, there’s no reason to procrastinate, or to resist making commitments, in the anxious hope that you might somehow be able to avoid those losses. Loss is a given. That ship has sailed—and what a relief.” OB

When faced with a significant decision in life, ask “Does this choice diminish me, or enlarge me?” Comfortable often equals diminishing. Uncomfortable often equals growth.

Awareness:
“We cannot get anything out of life. There is no outside where we could take this thing to. There is no little pocket, situated outside of life, to which we could steal life’s provisions and squirrel them away. The life of this moment has no outside.” Jay Jennifer Matthews

Impatience:
People complain that they no longer have “time to read” but the reality is not that they don’t have time, but when they find time they’re too impatient to give themselves over to the task.

“In a world geared for hurry, the capacity to resist the urge to hurry—to allow things to take the time they take—is a way to gain purchase on the world, to do the work that counts, and to derive satisfaction from the doing itself, instead of deferring all your fulfillment to the future.” OB

Three principles of patience:

1. Develop a taste for having problems.

   “Yet the state of having no problems is obviously never going to arrive. And more to the point, you wouldn’t want it to, because a life devoid of all problems would contain nothing worth doing and would therefore be meaningless.” OB

   “I was peeling a red apple from the garden when I suddenly understood that life would only ever give me a series of wonderfully insoluble problems. With that though an ocean of profound peace entered my heart.” Christian Bobin

2. Embrace radical incrementalism
.
   Create small habits that you can sustain even on your worst days. Persistence is what matters, start small, show up every day.

3. Originality lies on the far side of unoriginality.
   
Arno Minkkinen, Finnish American photographer, power of patience parable: At Helsinki’s main bus station, there are two dozen platforms with several different bus lines. You pick a route, but it follows most of the other buses on its first few stops through the city. In your career, after a couple of years of following that route, you’re dismayed your work isn’t as original as you hoped so you go back to the bus station and pick a different route. Instead, Minkkinen says the solution is to “Stay on the fucking bus.” Because after the buses get through the first leg of their journey, their routes begin to diverge, plunging off to unique destinations as they head through the suburbs to the countryside. That’s where the original, distinct work begins. “But it begins at all for those who can muster the patience to immerse themselves in the earlier stage—the trial-and-error phase of copying others, learning new skills, and accumulating experience.” OB

The Art of the Good Life – Rolf Dobelli

The Art of the Good Life – Rolf Dobelli
Date read: 9/5/21. Recommendation: 8/10.

The book provides a toolkit with 52 guidelines for operating in a challenging modern world that we can struggle to understand intuitively. It’s a summary of lessons from modern psychology (Kahneman), Stoic philosophy, and value investing (Warren Buffett and Charlie Munger). If you enjoy those sources, you will enjoy this book. If you’re unfamiliar with those sources, Dobelli presents an approachable introduction that encourages further exploration. It’s a great overview of the powerful mental models and frameworks that some of the best minds use to navigate (and simplify) life.

Check out my notes below or Amazon for details and reviews.

My Notes:

Self-correction:
Education system oriented around factual knowledge and certifications, rather than the ability to reflect and self-correct. Degrees are nearing the point where they have less and less correlation to workplace success.

The wise man makes small adjustments: “What do you think: was it the set-up—the perfect genes, an ideal upbringing, a first-class education—that made this person so wise? Or was it acts of correction, of constant work on their own issues and shortcomings, a gradual elimination of these inadequacies from their lives?” RD

Flexibility is a trap:
Flexibility makes you unhappy, tired, and distracts you from your goals. There are two main traps: 1) Constantly having to make new decisions situation by situation saps willpower and leads to decision fatigue. 2) By being consistent on certain topics, signal where you stand and there’s no room for negotiation. Warren Buffett refuses on principle to negotiate. You get to make one offer.

Act while it’s uncomfortable:
“If you won’t attack a problem while it’s solvable and wait until it’s unfixable, you can argue that you’re so damn foolish that you deserve the problem.” Charlie Munger

Authenticity within reason:
“People are respected because they deliver on their promises, not because they let us eavesdrop on their inner monologs.” RD

“Restrict authenticity to keeping your promises and acting according to your principles. The rest is nobody else’s business.” RD

Prioritization + Focus:
Before ever responding to a request, wait five seconds. “If you say ‘No’ ninety percent of the time, you’re not missing much in the world.” Charlie Munger

Focusing illusion: “Nothing in life is as important as you think it is while you are thinking about it” Daniel Kahneman. The more narrowly we focus on a specific aspect of our lives, the greater its apparent influence. Step back, create some distance, and compare only once you pull yourself from the trenches.

Circle of competence: “Know your circle of competence, and stick within it. The size of that circle is not very important, knowing its boundaries, however, is vital.” Warren Buffett

Professional backgammon player makes a few deliberate mistakes to see how well his opponent will exploit them. If the other guy plays well, stop playing so you don’t throw away money. Knowing when you’re outside of your circle of competence and when not to bet is a critical life skill.

“A single outstanding skill trumps a thousand mediocre ones. Every hour invested in your circle of competence is worth a thousand spent elsewhere.” RD

Volunteer’s folly: “Many people fall for the volunteer’s folly—they believe there’s a point to voluntary work. In reality, it’s a waste. Your time is more meaningfully invested in your circle of competence, because it’s there that you’ll generate the most value per day.” RD

Purpose:
“One of the symptoms of approaching nervous breakdown is the belief that one’s work is terribly important.” Bertrand Russell

When you’re starting your career, focus on stacking skills first, purpose second.

Prevention:
“Wisdom is a practical ability. It’s a measure of the skill with which we navigate life. Once you’ve come to realize that virtually all difficulties are easier to avoid than to solve, the following definition will be self-evident: ‘Wisdom is prevention.’” RD

Consider your health, career, finances, relationships: “A clever person solves a problem. A wise person avoids it.” Einstein

Prevention of mistakes and massive do-overs requires the ability to anticipate second and third-order consequences. Project multiple steps down the line.

Do the work:
“You can know the name of a bird in all the languages of the world, but when you’re finished, you’ll know absolutely nothing whatever about the bird…So let’s look at the bird and see what it’s doing—that’s what counts. I learned very early the difference between knowing the name of something and knowing something.” Richard Feynman

The Courage to Be Disliked – Ichiro Kishimi and Fumitake Koga

The Courage to Be Disliked – by Ichiro Kishimi and Fumitake Koga
Recommendation: 10/10. Date read: 2/23/21.

This is the best book I’ve read in months. The Courage to Be Disliked follows a dialogue between a philosopher and a young man who debate whether or not happiness is something you choose for yourself. The philosopher examines happiness from the theories and frameworks of Alfred Adler and Adlerian psychology. It’s a refreshing perspective that empowers you to escape determinism and avoid allowing yourself to be defined by past traumas or the weight of external expectations. As Kishimi emphasizes, “Your life is not something that someone gives you, but something you choose for yourself, and you are the one who decides how you live.” The Courage to Be Disliked is a wonderful resource to improve your relationships, find your courage, and pursue personal growth.

See my notes below or Amazon for details and reviews.

My Notes:

Determinism:
“If we focus only on past causes and try to explain things solely through cause and effect, we end up with ‘determinism.’ Because what this says is that our present and our future have already been decided by past occurrences, and are unalterable.” IK

Shift perspective from past causes to present goals to better understand the situation. Instead of “your friend is insecure so they won’t go out,” consider that “he doesn’t want to go out so he’s creating a state of anxiety.” 

Etiology: the study of causation champion by Freud and Jung.
Teleology: the study of the purpose of a given phenomenon, rather than its cause. 

“The important thing is not what one is born with but what use one makes of that equipment.” Adler

Trauma:
“No experience is in itself a cause of our success or failure. We do not suffer from the shock of our experiences—the so-called trauma—but instead we make out of them whatever suits our purposes. We are not determined by our experiences, but the meaning we give them is self-determining.” Adler

“Your life is not something that someone gives you, but something you choose for yourself, and you are the one who decides how you live.” IK

“An experience of hardship should be an opportunity to look ahead and think, What can I do from now on?” IK

Influence:
“Why are you rushing for answers? You should arrive at answers on your own, not rely upon what you get from someone else.” IK

Change:
“People can change at any time, regardless of the environments they are in. You are unable to change only because you are making the decision not to.” IK

Complacency: People might have complaints but it’s often easier and more secure to leave it the way it is. People become comfortable with being miserable.

Courage:
“When we try to change our lifestyles, we put our great courage to the test. There is the anxiety generated by changing, and the disappointment attendant to not changing.” IK

“Adlerian psychology is a psychology of courage. Your unhappiness cannot be blamed on your past or your environment. And it isn’t that you lack competence. You just lack courage. One might say you are lacking in the courage to be happy.” IK

“Freedom is being disliked by other people…It is proof that you are exercising your freedom and living in freedom, and a sign that you are living in accordance with your own principles.” IK

“But conducting oneself in such a way as to not be disliked by anyone is an extremely unfree way of living, and is also impossible. There is a cost incurred when one wants to exercise one’s freedom. And the cost of freedom in interpersonal relationships is that one is disliked by other people.” IK

“The courage to be happy also includes the courage to be disliked.” IK

“For a human being, the greatest unhappiness is not being able to like oneself.” IK

Relationships:
It’s basically impossible not to get hurt in relationships…you will get hurt and you will hurt someone. “To get rid of one’s problems, all one can do is live in the universe all alone.” Adler

You don’t need to change everyone’s mind and not everyone needs to think identically to you. When you’re hung up on winning and losing, you lose the ability to make rational decisions and clouds your judgment as you’re preoccupied with immediate victory or defeat. It completely breaks your ability to assess long-term strategy. 

“The moment one is convinced that ‘I am right’ in an interpersonal relationship, one has already stepped into a power struggle.” IK

Self-sufficiency:
Two objectives in Adlerian psychology are laid out for human behavior: to be self-reliant and to live in harmony with society. Two objectives for psychology that support these behaviors are the consciousness that I have the ability and that people are my comrades.

“You are not living to satisfy other people’s expectations.” IK

“If you are not living your life for yourself, who could there be to live it instead of you?” IK

Recognition can’t be your motivation: “Wishing so hard to be recognized will lead to a life of following expectations held by other people who want you to be ‘this kind of person.’” IK

Inferiority and superiority:
“The pursuit of superiority and the feeling of inferiority are not diseases but stimulants to normal, health striving and growth.” IK

How to compensate for the part that is lacking: “The healthiest way is to try to compensate through striving and growth. For instance, it could be applying oneself to one’s studies, engaging in constant training, or being diligent in one’s work. However, people who aren’t equipped with that courage end up stepping into an inferiority complex. Again, it’s thinking, I’m not well educated, so I can’t succeed. “ IK

Healthy feeling of inferiority doesn’t come from comparing yourself to others, but from comparing yourself to your ideal self. Competition often only blinds you to your ideal self. You get pulled into races that you’re not willing to run. 

Ego: “Those who go so far as to boast about things out loud actually have no confidence in themselves. As Adler clearly indicates, ‘The one who boasts does so only out of a feeling of inferiority.’” IK

Confidence: True confidence in yourself means there is no need to boast. 

Separating tasks:
All relationship troubles stem from intruding on other people’s tasks or having your own tasks intruded on. Consider ‘whose task is this’ and continuously work to separate your own from other people’s. Similar to the Stoic task of separating internals from externals. 

Intervening in other people’s tasks and taking on other people’s tasks adds complexity, heaviness, hardship, and drama. If you want to optimize for simplicity, discard other people’s tasks and focus on your own. 

Example 1: Studying is the child’s task. A parent commanding their child to do homework is intruding on the child’s task. The parent can only lead the child to their own decision or else they’ll only be successful to a degree because they can’t force this behavior.

Example 2: Not approving is your parents’ task, not yours. It’s not a problem for you to worry about. What another person thinks of you is their task, not yours. You have no control over this. 

Horizontal relationships:
The standpoint of Adlerian psychology is that you should not praise or rebuke another person because both represent an act of judgment. The desire to be praised or give praise is indicative of vertical relationships.

“Instead of commanding from above that the child must study, one acts on him in such a way that he can gain the confidence to take care of his own studies and face his tasks on his own.” IK

Alex: Similar to relationships with managers in the workplace. To treat these are vertical assumes this person is all-knowing. In reality, they’re still learning and growing and you have a unique experience that might provide a better vantage point on a certain problem. 

In horizontal relationships rather than praising or rebuking (as indicated in vertical relationships), express gratitude—thank you, that was a big help, I’m glad. 

Meaning:
“Whatever meaning life has must be assigned to it by the individual.” Adler

Greenlights – Matthew McConaughey

Greenlights – by Matthew McConaughey
Recommendation: 8/10. Date read: 12/29/20.

Surprising in all of the best ways. McConaughey details his upbringing and career in a book that’s equal parts memoir and personal philosophy. It’s entertaining, funny, and thoughtful. He has chapters that detail the mindset required to overcome obstacles, the importance of appreciating and respecting your winters (when you feel alone and the going gets tough), as well as identity and the process of elimination. Well worth the read and some great quotes along the way.

See my notes below or Amazon for details and reviews.

My Notes:

Catching greenlights:
“Catching greenlights is about skill: intent, context, consideration, endurance, anticipation, resilience, speed, and discipline.” MM

The obstacle is the way: 
“It’s a matter of how we see the challenge in front of us and how we engage with it. Persist, pivot, or concede. It’s up to us, our choice every time.” MM

“It’s not about win or lose, it is about do you accept the challenge.”

Intentions are the real substance:
“Words are momentary. Intent is momentous.” MM

Outlaw logic:
McConaughey’s mom: “She’s always believed that if you understand something, then you own it, you can sign your name to it, take credit for it, live by it, sell it, and win medals for it. Plagiarism? ‘Shit, they’ll probably never find out and if they do all they can do is blame you and take your medal back, so fuck em,’ she says.” 

“Don’t invent drama. It will come on its own.” MM

Identity and the process of elimination:
“The first step that leads to our identity in life is usually not I know who I am, but rather I know who I’m not. Process of elimination.” MM

“Knowing who we are is hard. Eliminate who we’re not first, and we’ll find ourselves where we need to be.” MM

“Too many options can make a tyrant out of any of us, so we should get rid of the excess in our lives…” MM

On his decision to change direction in college and instead of going to law school pursue acting: “I didn’t want to miss my twenties preparing for the rest of my life.” MM

Respect your winters:
Seasons of suffering and loneliness can become the most important sacrifices in your life if you learn from them and look within. They can be the catalyst that forces you to find yourself. 

“As the noise decreases, the signals become clearer. We can hear ourselves again, and we reunite. Time alone simplifies the heart.” MM

“Sometimes we have to leave what we know to find out what we know.” MM

“Wherever you are, give the place the justice it deserves.” MM

Ego vs being present:
“The sooner we become less impressed with our life, our accomplishments, our career, our relationships, the prospects in front of us—the sooner we become less impressed and more involved with these things—the sooner we get better at them.” MM

“We are all made for every moment we encounter.” MM

“We must be aware of what we attract in life because it is no accident or coincidence…Our souls are infinitely magnetic.” MM

The Almanack of Naval Ravikant – Eric Jorgenson

The Almanack of Naval Ravikant – by Eric Jorgenson
Recommendation: 9/10. Date read: 11/6/20.

A collection of wisdom from entrepreneur and investor, Naval Ravikant. Jorgenson has consolidated years worth of interviews, podcasts, articles, tweets, and speeches from Ravikant. And he’s assembled the content in a way that’s intuitive, easy to follow, and genuinely helpful in highlighting Naval’s principles for building wealth and long-term happiness. Sections I found particularly insightful focused on Naval’s thoughts on habits, identity, moving with purpose, leveraging meaning as a force multiplier, and the importance of building specific knowledge.

See my notes below or Amazon for details and reviews.

My Notes:

Move with purpose:
Step one, you must know what you’re working towards or you’ll never get there: “Yes, hard work matters, and you can’t skimp on it. But it has to be directed in the right way. If you don’t know yet what you should work on, the most important thing is to figure it out.” Naval Ravikant

“Spend more time making the big decisions. There are basically three really big decisions you make in your early life: where you live, who you’re with, and what you do.” NR

“Choosing what city to live in can almost completely determine the trajectory of your life.” NR

Specific knowledge is key:
Specific knowledge is the key: “Arm yourself with specific knowledge, accountability, and leverage. Specific knowledge is knowledge you cannot be trained for. If society can train you, it can train someone else and replace you. Specific knowledge is found by pursuing your genuine curiosity and passion rather than whatever is hot right now. Build specific knowledge will feel like play to you but will look like work to others. When specific knowledge is taught, it’s through apprenticeships, not schools. Specific knowledge is often highly technical or creative.” NR

Meaning is a force multiplier:
“If you’re not 100 percent into it, somebody else who is 100 percent into it will outperform you. And they won’t just outperform you by a little bit—they’ll outperform you by a lot.” NR

“The way to get out of the competition trap is to be authentic, to find the thing you know how to do better than anybody. You know how to do it better because you love it, and no one can compete with you.” NR

“No one in the world is going to beat you at being you.” NR

“I’m always ‘working.’ It looks like work to others, but it feels like play to me. And that’s how I know no one can compete with me on it. Because I’m just playing, for sixteen hours a day. If others want to compete with me, they’re going to work, and they’re going to lose because they’re not going to do it for sixteen hours a day, seven days a week.” NR

“Look at the kids who are born rich—they have no meaning to their lives.” NR

Ethics:
“Intentions don’t matter. Actions do. That’s why being ethical is hard.” NR

Patience:
“Great people have great outcomes. You just have to be patient.” NR

“Your real resume is just a catalog of all your suffering…the sacrifices you made, the hard things you did.” NR

Simplicity:
“‘Clear thinker’ is a better compliment than ‘smart.’” NR

“When it comes to medicine and nutrition, subtract before you add.” NR

Habits:
“You absolutely need habits to function. You cannot solve every problem in life as if it is the first time it’s thrown at you.” NR

“It’s really important to be able to uncondition yourself, to be able to take your habits apart and say, ‘Okay, this is a habit I probably picked up when I was a toddler trying to get my parent’s attention. Now I’ve reinforced it and reinforced it, and I call it a part of my identity. Does it still serve me?’” NR

“The genuine love for reading itself, when cultivated, is a superpower.” NR

“The number of books completed is a vanity metric. As you know more, you leave more books unfinished. Focus on new concepts with predictive power.” NR

“A calm mind, a fit body, and a house of love. These things cannot be bought. They must be earned.” NR

“Easy choices, hard life. Hard choices, easy life.” Jerzy Gregorek

Identity:
Danger of ideologies: “Any belief you took in a package (ex. Democrat, Catholic, American) is suspect and should be re-evaluated from base principles.” NR

Allow yourself to evolve: “Facebook redesigns. Twitter redesigns. Personalities, careers, and teams also need redesigns. There are no permanent solutions in a dynamic system.” NR

“The fundamental delusion: There is something out there that will make me happy and fulfilled forever.” NR

Sustainability: “Don’t hang around people who constantly engage in conflict. I’m not interested in anything unsustainable or even hard to sustain, including difficult relationships.” NR

Impermanence: “Everything is more beautiful because we’re doomed. You will never be lovelier than you are now, and we will never be here again.” Homer, The Iliad

Lessons in Stoicism – John Sellars

Lessons in Stoicism – by John Sellars
Recommendation: 8/10. Date read: 10/9/20.

Short guide on Stoicism that can serve either as a good refresher for those familiar with the philosophy or an easy entry point for those looking for a lightweight introduction. Emphasizes living thoughtfully and hits on all the key concepts inherent to stoicism in less than 100 pages—emotion, judgement, adversity, nature, control, and impermanence.

See my notes below or Amazon for details and reviews.

My Notes:

Judgements:
Focus attention on things within our control, forget about those you can’t control. This requires directing all your attention to your judgements. If you stop observing these or relax for even an instant, you run risk of falling into old habits and compromising your peace of mind.

“No thought is wasted on what others may say or think of him or practice against him; two things alone suffice him, justice in his daily dealings and contentment with all fate’s apportioning.” Marcus Aurelius

Anger:
“Seneca likens being angry to having been thrown off the top of a building and hurtling towards the ground, completely out of control. Once anger takes over, it compromises the whole mind.” JS

“Anger, like all emotions, is the product of a judgement made in the mind.” JS

Adversity:
From Seneca: Adversity falls hardest on those who don’t expect it. But it’s much easier to cope with for those prepared for it.

The Practicing Stoic – Ward Farnsworth

The Practicing Stoic – by Ward Farnsworth
Date read: 4/11/20. Recommendation: 9/10.

One of the best modern overviews of Stoicism that I’ve read. Farnsworth sets out to organize the ideas of the Stoic philosophers in a logical manner with foundational principles first, followed by their practical applications. He synthesizes the most important points made by different Stoics about each subject. One thing that makes this book particularly unique and resonated with me was the fact that he sprinkles in parallel ideas from other contemporary thinkers and philosophers, like Montaigne, Samuel Johnson, and Arthur Schopenhauer.

See my notes below or Amazon for details and reviews.

My Notes:

Judgment:
“We react to our judgments and opinions—to our thoughts about things, not to things themselves.” WF

Event > judgment/opinion > reaction. Your job is to begin recognizing the middle step. 

“Men are disturbed not by the things that happen but by their opinions about those things” Epictetus

“It is not what things are objective and in themselves, but what they are for us, in our way of looking at them, that makes us happy or the reverse.” Schopenhauer

“We can choose to have no opinion about a thing and not to be trouble by it; for things themselves have no power of their own to affect our judgments.” Marcus Aurelius

“It takes greatness of mind to judge great matters; otherwise they will seem to have defects that in truth belong to us. In the same way, certain objects that are perfectly straight will, when sunk in the water, appear to the onlooker as bent or broken off. It is not so much what you see but how you see it that matters. When it comes to perceiving reality, our minds are in a fog.” Seneca

“The work of philosophy is to take responsibility for our own thinking, and in doing so to liberate ourselves from the attachments and misjudgments that otherwise dictate our experience.” WF

Externals:
“There is only one road to happiness—let this rule be at hand morning, noon, and night: stay detached from things that are not up to you.” Epictetus

“Not being able to govern events, I govern myself, and if they will not adapt to me, I adapt to them.” Montaigne

Make sure your center of gravity stays within, that way the foundation of your happiness never gets destroyed through loss or disappointment due to things beyond your control. (summarizing Schopenhauer)

Perspective:
“The long view is good for morale. If it is an affront to the ego, it is also an antidote to vanity, ambition, and greed.” WF

“Imagine the vast abyss of time, and think of the entire universe; then compare what we call a human lifetime to that immensity. You will see how tiny a thing it is that we wish for and seek to prolong.” Seneca

“We believe these affairs of ours are greater because we are small.” Seneca

Death:
For the Stoics, meditation on death is a tool to promote humility, fearlessness, moderation, and other virtues.

“Only fools are attached to their bodies by a fear of death rather than a love of life.” Montaigne

“You are mistaken if you think that only on an ocean voyage is there a very slight space between life and death. No, the distance between is just as narrow everywhere.” Seneca

“We must make it our aim to have already lived long enough.” Seneca

Desire:
“You will learn the truth by experience: the things that people value highly and try hardest to get do them no good once they have them.” Epictetus

“We go panting after things unknown and things to come, because the things that are present are never enough. It is not, in my view, that they lack what it takes to satisfy us, but rather that we hold them in an unhealthy and immoderate grip.” Montaigne

“The measure of what is necessary is what is useful.” Seneca

“Natural desires are finite; those born of false opinion have no place to stop.” Seneca

“The desires that have limits come from Nature. The ones that run away from us and never have an end are our own. Poverty in material things is easy to cure; poverty of the soul, impossible.” Montaigne

“Do you not realize that all things lose their force because of familiarity?” Seneca

“We value nothing more highly than a benefit when we are seeking it, and nothing less highly once we obtain it.” Seneca

“That man will never be happy whom the sight of a happier man will torment.” Seneca

“When any calamity has been suffered, the first thing to be remembered is how much has been escaped.” Samuel Johnson

Wealth and pleasure:
“Lack of moderation is the plague of pleasure. Moderation is not the scourge of pleasure, but the seasoning of it.” Montaigne

“What it has made necessary for man, nature has not made difficult. But he desires clothing of purple steeped in rich dye, embroidered in gold, and decorated with a variety of colors and designs: it is not nature’s fault but his own that he is poor.” Seneca

“On hearing of the interesting events which have happened in the course of a man’s experience, many people will wish that similar things had happened in their lives too, completely forgetting that they should be envious rather of the mental aptitude which lent those events the significance they possess when he describes them.” Schopenhauer

What others think:
“Who does not willingly exchange health, tranquility, and life itself for reputation and glory—the most useless, worthless, and counterfeit coin that circulates among us?” Montaigne

“In all we do, almost the first thing we think about is, what will people say; and nearly half of the trouble and bothers of life may be traced to our anxiety on this score.” Schopenhauer

“Soon you will have forgotten everything; soon everything will have forgotten you.” Marcus Aurelius

“The success of the insult depends on the sensitivity and indignation of the victim.” Seneca

“Remember that you are insulted not by the person who strikes or abuses you but by your opinion that these things are insulting.” Seneca

“No one becomes a laughingstock who laughs at himself.” Seneca

“Do I deserve these things that happen to me? If I deserve them, there is no insult; it is justice. If I don’t deserve them, let the one who does the injustice blush.” Seneca

Valuation:
“This why I lost my lamp: because a thief was better than I am at staying awake. But he bought the lamp at a high price. In return he became a thief, he become untrustworthy…” Epictetus

Self-esteem is the price you pay for unethical acts.

“If you set a high value on liberty, you must set a low value on everything else.” Seneca

Emotion:
“We suffer more in conjecture than in reality…We magnify our sorrow, or we imagine it, or we get ahead of it.” Seneca

Adversity:
“It is not hardships that are desirable, but the courage by which to endure them.” Seneca

“It is the act of an ill-instructed man to blame others for his own bad condition; it is the act of one who has begun to be instructed, to lay blame on himself; and one whose instruction is complete to blame neither another nor himself.” Epictetus

“My formula for greatness in a man is amor fati: the fact that a man wishes nothing to be different, either in front of him or behind him, or for all eternity.” Nietzsche 

“Those who are without skill and sense as to how they should live, like sick people whose bodies can endure neither heat not cold, are elated by good fortune and depressed by adversity; and they are greatly disturbed by both.” Plutarch

“Fire tests gold, adversity brave men.” Seneca

“I judge you unfortunate because you have never been unfortunate: You have passed through life without an antagonist; no one will ever know what you can do, not even you yourself.” Seneca

“Pain is neither unbearable nor eternal if you consider its limits, and don’t add to it in your imagination.” Marcus Aurelius

“Pain takes up only as much space as we allow to it.” Montaigne

Virtue:
“Let nothing be done in your life that will cause you fear if it is discovered by your neighbor.” Epicurus

“It is a rare life that maintains its good order even in private. Everyone can play his role and act the honest man on the stage…” Montaigne

“Kindness is invincible, if it is genuine and not insincere or put on as an act.” Marcus Aurelius

Learning:
“No one can live happily or even tolerably without the study of wisdom. Wisdom, when achieved, produced a happy life.” Seneca

“Do you want to know why your running away doesn’t help? You take yourself along. Your mental burden must be put down before any place will satisfy you.” Seneca

“Associate with those who will improve you. Welcome those whom you yourself can improve. The process is mutual; for people learn while they teach.” Seneca

“The mind is not like a bucket that requires filling, it is like wood that needs igniting—nothing more—to produce an impulse to discovery and a longing for the truth.” Plutarch

“The last occupation of the preoccupied man is living—and there is nothing that is harder to learn.” Seneca

Stillness Is the Key – Ryan Holiday

Stillness Is the Key – by Ryan Holiday
Date read: 4/3/20. Recommendation: 8/10.

Holiday has his formula down and he nails it each time. Short, succinct chapters with relevant stories pulled throughout history to illustrate his main ideas. Busyness is a distraction we use to avoid putting in the real work that we must do in order to achieve a sense of stillness. Otherwise, we’ll always be running from something and never learn to be content with ourselves or appreciate the present moment. The ability to pause, reflect, and come back to the now is one skill that great leaders, thinkers, artists, and athletes all have in common. We could all benefit from creating more room for stillness—to limit our inputs, better appreciate the moment we’re living in right now, focus on our own character, and keep things in perspective.

See my notes below or Amazon for details and reviews.

My Notes:

Being present:
“You have plenty on your plate right now. Focus on that, no matter how small or insignificant it is. Do the very best you can right now. Don’t think about what detractors may say. Don’t dwell or needlessly complicate. Be here. Be all of you.” RH

“There is no stillness for the person who cannot appreciate things as they are, particularly when that person has objectively done so much.” RH

You already matter. You don’t need to prove anything else. 

Limiting your inputs:
Success isn’t about catching everything before it falls through the cracks, it’s about knowing what to let fall through. 

“Knowing what not to think about. What to ignore and not to do. It’s your first and most important job.” RH

To reach a relaxed state of concentration where you can do your best, don’t overanalyze, just do the work: Chop wood, carry water. 

Journaling for reflection:
Journaling = spiritual windshield wipers (Julia Cameron). Demands and creates stillness. 

In victory learn when to stop:
“Eventually one has to say the e-word, enough. Or the world says it for you.” RH

Joseph Heller (Catch 22) in conversation with Kurt Vonnegut at the fancy party in New York City at some billionaire’s second home: “I’ve got something he can never have. The knowledge that I’ve got enough.”

“When you realize there is nothing lacking, the whole world belongs to you.” Lao Tzu

“More does nothing for the one who feels less than, who cannot see the wealth that was given to them at birth, that they have accumulated in their relationships and experiences.” RH

“If a man can reduce his needs to zero, he is truly free: there is nothing that can be taken from him and nothing anyone can do to hurt him.” John Boyd

The path to stillness:
Develop a strong moral compass.
Street clear of envy and jealousy and harmful desires.
Come to terms with the painful wounds of your childhood
Practice gratitude and appreciation for the world around you.
Cultivate relationships and love in your lives.
Place belief and control in the hands of something larger than themselves.

“Give more.
Give what you didn’t get.
Love more. 
Drop the old story.” RH

Character:
“We develop good character, strong epithets for ourselves, so that when it counts, we will not flinch.” RH

“Always remember, others may hate you, but those who hate you don’t win unless you hate them. And then you destroy yourself.” Nixon

Perspective:
“In the face of the Sublime, we feel a shiver…something too large for our minds to encompass. And for a moment, it shakes us out of our smugness and releases us from the deathlike grip of habit and banality.” Robert Greene

“The moon you’re looking at tonight is the same moon you looked at as a scared young boy or girl, it’s the same you’ll look at when you’re older—in moments of joy and in pain—and it’s the same that your children will look at in their own moments and their own lives.” RH

“When you step back from the enormity of your own immediate experience—whatever it is—you are able to see the experience of others and connect with them or lessen the intensity of your own pain.” RH

“Here is my secret. It is very simple: It is only with the heart that one can see rightly, what is essential is invisible to the eye.” Antoine de Saint-Exupéry, The Little Prince

The Conquest of Happiness – Bertrand Russell

The Conquest of Happiness – by Bertrand Russell
Date read: 2/23/20. Recommendation: 8/10.

An accessible introduction to the work and philosophy of Bertrand Russell. In many ways, The Conquest of Happiness is a predecessor to the self-improvement genre that exists today. The book is broken down into two main sections, causes of unhappiness and causes of happiness. I got the most out of the second section as he discusses finding in harmony the stream of life and developing a zest for life. As Russell suggests, “The secret to happiness is this: let your interests be as wide as possible, and let your reactions to the thing and persons that interest you be as far as possible friendly rather than hostile.”

See my notes below or Amazon for details and reviews.

My Notes:

Teach and be taught, rather than judge and be judged mindset:
“The secret to happiness is this: let your interests be as wide as possible, and let your reactions to the thing and persons that interest you be as far as possible friendly rather than hostile.”

Expand your interests:
“The more things a man is interested in, the more opportunities of happiness he has and the less he is at the mercy of fate, since if he loses one thing he call fall back upon another.”

Alex note: Every year that passes, life should be more enjoyable. You discover more of the things you love and are able to recognize more things that you don’t. 

Alex note: With age, there’s a diminishing preoccupation with yourself. Take yourself less seriously, get out of your own head, avoid tricking yourself into believing that you are the center of the universe, and you will be happier. 

“But the monk will not be happy until the routine of the monastery has made him forget his soul.”

Zest:
“The man who has the zest for life has the advantage over the man who has none. Even unpleasant experiences have their uses to him.”

The adventurous enjoy even the unpleasant experiences…”It gives them pleasure to have their knowledge of the world increased by this new item.”

The Stream of Life:
“To be happy in this world, especially when youth is past, it is necessary to feel oneself not merely an isolated individual whose day will soon be over, but part of the stream of life flowing on from the first germ to the remote and unknown future.” 

“The happy man feels himself a citizen of the universe, enjoying freely the spectacle that it offers and the joys that it affords, untroubled by the thought of death because he feels himself not really separate from those who will come after him. It is in such profound instinctive union with the stream of life that the greatest joy is to be found.” 

Alex note: Life is motion. The goal is to remain in harmony with that motion as best you’re able to.

“Success can only be one ingredient in happiness, and is too dearly purchased if all the other ingredients have been sacrificed to obtain it.”

Work:
“Even the dullest work is to most people less painful than idleness.”

“We are less bored than our ancestors were, but we are more afraid of boredom.”

Unhappiness:
“I believe this unhappiness to be very largely due to mistaken views of the world, mistaken ethics, mistaken habits of life, leading to destruction of that natural zest and appetite for possible things upon which all happiness, whether of men or animals, ultimately depends.” 

The Little Book of Stoicism – Jonas Salzgeber

The Little Book of Stoicism – by Jonas Salzgeber
Date read: 4/16/19. Recommendation: 8/10.

Both a solid introduction to Stoicism for beginners and a great reminder for those already familiar with the philosophy. Jonas gives an overview of Stoicism, including its origins and most influential philosophers. But most importantly, he details what’s in it for you with a list of practices that range from visualizations and journaling to mindsets and lifestyle shifts. At this point, I’ve read 15+ books on the subject and I still felt this was well worth my time. It’s a great resource on the subject and offers a few new Stoic angles to approach your life with.

See my notes below or Amazon for details and reviews.

My Notes:

Eudaimonia: 
Become good with your inner daimon (inner spirit or divine spark). Live in harmony with your highest self.

Refers to to the overall quality of your life, rather than a temporary mood.

Seneca refers to this as tranquility – the inner peace that comes from a calm confidence in your path and trusting yourself. 

Eudaimonia encompasses three things: living with areté (expressing your highest self, virtue), focusing on what you can control, and taking responsibility. 

Emotional Resilience:
“To bear trials with a calm mind robs misfortune of its strength and burden.” Seneca

Not about repressing emotion, but about acknowledging, reflecting, and learning.

“We can train ourselves to act calm despite feeling angry, act courageously despite feeling anxious, and going east despite the wolf pulling west.” JS

“I buy tranquility instead.”

Direction:
“If a man knows not which port he sails, no wind is favorable.” Seneca

“Most of what we say and do is not essential. If you can eliminate it, you’ll have more time, and more tranquility.” Marcus Aurelius

Via Negativa (Nassim Taleb): Acting by removing is more powerful and less error prone. 

Mindfulness:
“It is a continuous vigilance and presence of mind, self-consciousness which never sleeps, and a constant tension of the spirit. Thanks to this attitude, the philosopher is fully aware of what he does at each instant, and he wills his actions fully.” Pierre Hadot

Stimulus -> follow immediate impression -> impulsive, often irrational response.
Stimulus -> pause to evaluate, challenge initial impression -> rational decision.

Awareness robs negative emotions of their capacity to destroy.

Character:
“Character beats beauty.” JS

“If you want anything good, you must get it from yourself.” Epictetus

“What would have become of Hercules, do you think, if there had been no lion, hydra, stag or boar – and no savage criminals to rid the world of? What would he have done in the absence of such challenges?” Epictetus

Train yourself to do what others dread and resist what others can’t. 

The Stoic Archer:
Focus on the process – evaluate what’s within your control. Preparation, effort, then let the arrow fly. 

Focus on getting the conditions right (your intentions and actions). Remember, the ultimate outcome is often external. If you do the right things consistently over a long enough time frame, there will be an eventual payoff. Just don’t bank on it every time. 

“Know that sometimes things will not go your way even if you do your best, and regardless of whether you deserved it or not. Don’t confuse your aspirations with how the universe should turn out.” JS

Acceptance vs. Resignation:
Acceptance = making the most of it, overcoming challenges, seeing them as opportunities (the obstacle is the way).

Resignation = giving up and allowing apathy to dictate your life. 

The Manual – Epictetus

The Manual – by Epictetus
Date read: 10/24/18. Recommendation: 8/10.

Enjoyed the Ancient Renewal translation by Sam Torode. I’m always eager to read any new or updated translation of the classics. I’ve always found Epictetus to be one of the more inspiring Stoic philosophers. This is a great introduction to Stoicism for those interested in the philosophy. It’s also a great refresher for those already familiar. He discusses themes of impermanence, substance, expectations vs. reality, mental toughness, and authenticity.

See my notes below or Amazon for details and reviews.

My Notes:

Sphere of control = free, independent, strong
Beyond sphere = weak, limited, dependent

Impermanence is the nature of all things.

Expectations vs. Reality:

• “In preparing for any action, remind yourself of the nature of the action.”

• Going to a pool? Remind yourself of the usual incidents.

• “Is some oil spilled or wine stolen? Say to yourself, ‘Accepting these annoyances is the price of my peace and tranquility. All good things come at a cost.’"

You are responsible for you:

• “People who are ignorant of philosophy blame others for their own misfortunes. Those who are beginning to learn philosophy blame themselves. Those who have mastered philosophy blame no one.” 

• Don’t blame another for your state of mind, your conditions is result of your own opinions and interpretations.

• “Do not wish that all things will go well with you, but that you will go well with all things."

• "Follow your principles as though they were laws.” 

Substance:

• “Do not take satisfaction in possessions and achievements that are not your own…What, then, is your own? The way you live your life."

• Cannot always choose your circumstances, but you can always act well in your current position.

• “If you truly wish to become a philosopher, you must gain self-control, give up friends who are bad influences, and be prepared to face ridicule and scorn, and be willing to give up honors, offices, riches, and fame.” Not to say you shouldn’t acquire these things, but the true philosopher is never dependent on these things.

• “If you can acquire riches without losing your honor and self-respect, then do it. But if you lose what is dearest to you, no amount of money can make up for it."

Humility = Harmony

• “If you are praised by others, be skeptical of yourself. For it is no easy feat to hold onto your inner harmony while collecting accolades. When grasping for one, you are likely to drop the other."

• “A philosopher is one whose thoughts and emotions are internally anchored…When she fails, she takes responsibility. When she succeeds, she smiles to herself."

Defer Judgment:

• “It is not the person who insults or attacks you who torments your mind, but the view you take of these things.”

• "Do not be fooled by how things first appear. With time and greater perspective, you can regain inner peace."

• Observe subtleties, “Do not mistake your impressions for the whole truth."

Memento Mori:

• “Continually remind yourself that you are a mortal being, and someday will die. This will inspire you not to waste precious time in fruitless activities, like stewing over grievances and striving after possessions."

Mental Toughness:

• “If you are diligent and consistent, those who ridiculed you will come to admire you. But if you abandon the path near the start because of their laughter, you are truly worthy of scorn."

• “If you find yourself acting to impress others, or avoiding action out of fear of what they might think, you have left the path."

• Use the world and your current situation as a practice ground for your philosophy

Authenticity:

• Fulfillment is found in a life best-suited to your attributes and abilities.

• "Find significance within yourself.” Don’t lose your honor striving for perceived significance.

The Consolations of Philosophy – Alain de Botton

The Consolations of Philosophy – by Alain de Botton
Date read: 9/8/18. Recommendation: 7/10.

An introduction to some of the greatest thinkers including Socrates, Epicurus, Seneca, Montaigne, Schopenhauer, and Nietzsche. Botton wraps each philosopher in the context of consolation for a different human struggle (Seneca = consolations for frustration). If you’re already into philosophy, it’s an interesting format you’ll find both strange and engaging. If you’re not, it provides an accessible introduction to the subject without requiring a college course on abstract thought.

See my notes below or Amazon for details and reviews.

My Notes:

Consolation for Unpopularity

Priority to be liked, rather than speak the truth. Laugh at modest jokes.

Socrates ultimate example of how to maintain confidence in an intelligent position which has met with illogical opposition.

Philosophy provided Socrates with convictions and rational (not hysterical) confidence when facing disapproval.

Philo, love; sophia, wisdom.

Not only the hostility of others that prevents us from questioning the status quo. Also, because we associate what is popular with what is right.

"We stifle our doubts and follow the flock because we cannot conceive of ourselves as pioneers of hitherto unknown, difficult truths." AB

Socrates encouraged us not to be unnerved by the confidence of people who fail to grasp complexities and formulate their views without rigour...established views don't necessarily emerge from faultless reasoning, but centuries of intellectual muddle.

Truth produced by intuition is like a statue without support.
Truth supported by reasons and an awareness of counterarguments ie like statue anchored by cables.

"If we are prone to burst into tears after only a few harsh words about our character or achievements, it may be because the approval of others forms an essential part of our capacity to believe we are right." AB

Two powerful delusions: we should always or never listen to the dictates of public opinion. Instead, strive to listen to the dictates of reason.

Consolation for Not Having Enough Money

Epicureanism suggests we are as bad at intuitively answering 'What will make me happy?' as 'What will make me healthy?'

Epicurus viewed philosophy as a tool to help us interpret distress and desire and help us avoid acting on immediate impulses and instead investigate rationality of our desires (rather than enter into mistaken schemes for happiness).

Sober analysis calms the mind.

Objects mimic in a material dimension what we require in a psychological one. The way we're enticed by commercial enterprises is by the sly association of superfluous objects with other, forgotten needs.

By understanding our true needs, excessive levels of consumption are destroyed by greater self-awareness and appreciation of simplicity.

"Mankind is perpetually the victim of a pointless and futile martyrdom, fretting life away inf fruitless worries through failure to realize what limit is set to acquisition and to the growth of genuine pleasure. [But at the same time] It is this discontent that has driven life steadily onward, out to the high seas..." -Lucretius

Consolation for Frustration

Expectations vs. Reality - We best endure those frustrations which we have prepared ourselves for and understand and are hurt most by those we least expected and cannot fathom.

Seneca's view of anger: Not from an uncontrollable eruption of passions, but from a basic error of reasoning.
-Frustrations are tempered by what we understand we can expect from the world.
-Greatest furies spring from events which violate our sense of the ground rules of existence.

"Rage is caused by a conviction, almost comic in its optimistic origins, that a given frustration has not been written into the contract of life." AB

"We must reconcile ourselves to the necessary imperfectability of existence." AB

"Not everything which happens to us occurs with reference to something about us." AB

Worst-case scenarios:
"If you wish to put off all worry, assume that what you fear may happen is certainly going to happen." Seneca
*bad things will probably happen, but they probably won't ever be as bad as we fear.

Wealth:
"Stop preventing philosophers from possessing money; no one has condemned wisdom to poverty." Seneca
-Stoicism (Seneca specifically) considers wealth a preferred thing. Not an essential thing or a crime.

"The wise man can lose nothing. He has everything invested in himself." Seneca

We might not be able to change certain events, but we are able to choose our attitude, which provides a sense of freedom.

Consolation for Inadequacy

"We ought to find out not who understands most but who understands best." Montaigne

"If I come across difficult passages in my reading I never bit my nails over them: after making a charge or two I let them be...If one book wearies me I take up another." Montaigne
-Wisdom doesn't require a specialized vocabulary, only makes an audience weary
-Writing with simplicity requires courage

"However modest our stories, we can derive greater insights from ourselves than from all the books of old." AB

Consolation for Difficulties

Pain is a natural, inevitable step on the way to anything good/fulfillment.

"The most fulfilling human projects appeared inseparable from a degree of torment, the sources of our greatest joys lying awkwardly close to those of our greatest pains." AB

Nietzsche was striving to correct the belief that fulfillment must come easily or not at all, a belief ruinous in its effects, for it leads us to withdraw prematurely from challenges that might have been overcome if only we had been prepared for the savagery legitimately demanded by almost everything valuable.

Philosophy = voluntary living in ice and high mountains

"The ice is near, the solitude is terrible–but how peacefully all things lie in the light! how freely one breathes! how much one feels beneath one!" Nietzsche

"Don't talk about giftedness, inborn talents! One can name all kinds of great men who were not very gifted. They acquired greatness, became 'geniuses' (as we put it) through qualities about whose lack no man aware of them likes to speak: all of them had that diligent seriousness of a craftsman, learning first to construct the parts properly before daring to make a great whole. They allowed themselves time for it, because they took more pleasure in making the little, secondary things well than the effect of a dazzling whole." Nietzsche

Endurance:
"Fulfillment is reached by responding wisely to difficulties that could tear one apart." AB

"Not everything which makes us feel better is good for us. Not everything which hurts may be bad." -AB

The Bed of Procrustes – Nassim Nicholas Taleb

The Bed of Procrustes: Philosophical and Practical Aphorisms – by Nassim Nicholas Taleb
Date read: 8/18/17. Recommendation: 9/10.

Great introduction to Taleb's take on uncertainty, which he discusses in detail in his other books that make up the Incerto series: Antifragile, Fooled by Randomness, and The Black Swan. This book offers a succinct look into how we deal with what we don't know. Taleb examines our tendency to package and reduce ideas into neat narratives that fit within the constraints of our limited knowledge.

See my notes below or Amazon for details and reviews.

My Notes:

Every aphorism here is a about a Procrustean bed of sorts–we humans, facing limits of knowledge, and things we do not observe, the unseen and the unknown, resolve the tension by squeezing life and the world into crisp commoditized ideas, reductive categories, specific vocabularies, and prepackaged narratives.

These aphorisms are standalone compressed thoughts revolving around my main idea of how we deal, and should deal, with what we don't know.

The person you are most afraid to contradict is yourself.

An idea starts to be interesting when you get scared of taking it to its logical conclusion.

To bankrupt a fool, give him information.

An erudite is someone who displays less than he knows; a journalist or consultant, the opposite.

Your brain is most intelligent when you don't instruct it on what to do–something people who take showers discover on occasion.

In nature we never repeat the same motion; in captivity (office, gym, commute, sports), life is just repetitive-stress injury. No randomness.

If you know, in the morning, what your day looks like with any precision, you are a little bit dead–the more precision, the more dead you are.

When we want to do something while unconsciously certain to fail, we seek advice so we can blame someone else for the failure.

The most painful moments are not those we spend with uninteresting people; rather, they are those spent with uninteresting people trying hard to be interesting.

The characteristic feature of the loser is to bemoan, in general terms, mankind's flaws, biases, contradictions, and irrationality–without exploiting them for fun and profit.

You exist if and only if you are free to do things without a visible objective, with no justification and, above all, outside the dictatorship of someone else's narrative.

To be completely cured of newspapers, spend a year reading the previous week's newspapers.

The opposite of success isn't failure; it is name-dropping.

Modernity needs to understand that being rich and becoming rich are not mathematically, personally, socially, and ethically the same thing.

The fastest way to become rich is to socialize with the poor; the fastest way to become poor is to socialize with the rich.

You will be civilized on the day you can spend a long period doing nothing, learning nothing, and improving nothing, without feeling the slightest amount of guilt.

Someone who says "I am busy" is either declaring incompetence (and lack of control of his life) or trying to get rid of you.

To see if you like where you are, without the chains of dependence, check if you are as happy returning as you were leaving.

Modernity: we created youth without heroism, age without wisdom, and life without grandeur.

People focus on role models; it is more effective to find antimodels–people you don't want to resemble when you grow up.

People usually apologize so they can do it again.

It is those who use others who are the most upset when someone uses them.

The three most harmful addictions are heroin, carbohydrates, and a monthly salary.

My only measure of success is how much time you have to kill.

With terminal disease, nature lets you die with abbreviated suffering; medicine lets you suffer with prolonged dying.

Only in recent history has "working hard" signaled pride rather than shame for lack of talent, finesse, and, mostly, sprezzatura.

We are hunters; we are only truly alive in those moments when we improvise; no schedule, just small surprises and stimuli from the environment.

You are alive in inverse proportion to the density of cliches in your writing.

We unwittingly amplify commonalities with friends, dissimilarities with strangers, and contrasts with enemies.

True humility is when you can surprise yourself more than others; the rest is either shyness or good marketing.

For the robust, an error is information; for the fragile an error is an error.

Games were created to give nonheroes the illusion of winning. In real life, you don't know who really won or lost (except too late), but you can tell who is heroic and who is not.

Knowledge is subtractive, not additive–what we subtract (reduction by what does not work, what not to do), not what we add (what to do).

The best way to spot a charlatan: someone (like a consultant or a stock broker) who tells you what to do instead of what not to do.

They think that intelligence is about noticing things that are relevant (detecting patterns); in a complex world, intelligence consists in ignoring things that are irrelevant (avoiding false patterns).

The curious mind embraces science; the gifted and sensitive, the arts; the practical, business; the leftover becomes an economist.

The only definition of an alpha male: if you try to be an alpha male, you will never be one.

At any stage, humans can thirst for money, knowledge, or love; sometimes for two, never for three.

Love without sacrifice is like theft.

Our overreactive brains are more likely to impose the wrong, simplistic narrative than no narrative at all.

The mind can be a wonderful tool for self-delusion–it was not designed to deal with complexity and nonlinear uncertainties.

Counter to common discourse, more information means more delusions: our detection of false patterns is growing faster and faster as a side effect of modernity and the information age.

Thus my classical values make me advocate the triplet of erudition, elegance, and courage; against modernity's phoniness, nerdiness, and philistinism.